Not So Perfect
by FireBadTreeNice
Summary: RemusTonks HarryGinnyTake one werewolf, stir in one klutzy metamorphmagus, add a pinch of scar-headed teen, top it off with one firey-tempered Weasley, and what do you get? A crazy story involving malls, muggles, and hot kisses
1. Default Chapter

***Disclaimer*** Don't own it. Don't sue us. We're not rich. We make no money!  
  
Chapter One: Wolf and Wine *********************************************************  
  
Remus settled back in the chair, it was nighttime, Grimwauld, he was the only one awake, somewhere around two in the morning, or at least he assumed he was the only one awake. He stood, he'd taken a bath only a bit before, and now he was relaxing, or trying too, as often as the moody man ever relaxed. His skin was darkly tan, muscular from transformations and workouts, people didn't really think of him as a working out kind of guy, but he'd learned fast that if he wanted to be able to run fast in werewolf form, then it meant keeping himself in shape in both forms. His hair was, well, probably not one would expect by now. Not long, as in ponytail long, but shaggy enough that the dark brown stuff hung in silky waves around his face. He would have been handsome at Harry's age most likely. He wore a pair of regular muggle jeans, torn at the knee's and frayed at the ankles. his feet though, arched, defined. He sighed, and walked over to the couch again, settling back in the cushions, staring down at the book he'd been reading. He picked it up. His hands, strong, slender, powerful, flipped it over. His eyes where what caught most people, when people met him, they thought his eyes where brown, like his hair, but if you looked at them closely, very closely, you could see a bubble of golden amber occasionally. Beautiful eyes, really. Long lashes. Yes, his chest was broad, not exactly covered in fur, as one might expect of a werwolf. As a human he was almost smooth. At least from hair. Numerous scars crossed his body. He probably had a good six or seven scars on his front, and at least as many on his back. Though none that looked overly serious. He smiled at what he'd recieved in the mail last week. Fingering the absolute sweetest thing he'd ever been given. It was one of those "looks like silver" necklaces. No real silver in it. But it gave the appearance of it, a simple chain necklace. He'd been writing to the young Miss Weasley, after she'd asked him about a certain spell via owl post. He enjoyed their corrospondence, but sitting there, shutting the book again. He realized, it wasn't enough. He missed Harry. He wanted the boy with him. He wanted something, anyhow. He shook his head. "When am I ever going to stop hoping for something that won't happen" he murmered under cleaned teeth.  
  
It had been one of those days that when all is said and done, you really rather wished you'd just not gotten out of bed that morning, Tonks reflected as she apparated from outside the ministry to the nearest "safe- zone" apparation point near the Order's Headquarters. She'd tripped three times, fell flat on her face one, spilled juice down her front not once, not twice, but FOUR times, and accidently managed to give her partner, Kingsley Shacklebolt, a black-eye. "Thank Merlin for cleaning spells." She muttered, looking down at the front of her red robes. A swift glance around assured no one was looking, and she then concentrated on making number 12 appear. When it did, she sighed in relief, and bounded up the steps, only to catch her foot on the last step, and go sprawling down. "Oww!" whined, as she stood up, and inspected the two splinters imbedded in her palm. Still, she knew not to stand on the porch too long, and knocked with her injury-free hand upon the door.  
  
For a moment he froze, then his nose flared. He sniffed the air. "Tonks" he murmered. And headed towards the door with a sigh. He padded over to it, as quiet as any wolf. Checked the little window hole in the middle of the door, and then started undoing the locks with the wand that had been sticking rather..noticebly, out of the back of his pocket. When the locks where done he undid the simple chain, and opened the door. His nostrils flared once more, taking in the scent of the woman, and he smiled. She was alone. That suited him. The woman was clumsey at best, but a dear soul to almost all who'd met her. He smiled slightly, and held the door open. Letting his gaze travel the woman. "Hello Tonks." He said, even before the door opened completley. "Come on in." He murmered. His mind already traveling off somewhere else. Damn. He had to stop thinking about it!. . . For a moment he froze, then his nostrils flared. He sniffed the air, then once more. He smiled slightly, the kind of smile one gives when they aren't really happy, but really are glad to see someone. He headed towards the door, his barefeet making hardly any sound. He checked the little window in the door, to make sure it was her. Then stepped back, pulling his wand out of his back pocket, and his voice quietly did the spells to undo the locks on the door. He undid the only physical lock, a small black chain. And opened the door. He opened it all the way, looking at the woman in front of him. "Hello Tonks, come on in" before turning away immediatly. He headed towards the chair once more. He was so quiet, nowdays, hardly talking to anyone since Sirius's death. Arching a single well molded eyebrow at the red robes, then smiled, turning away.  
  
She looked at Remus in concern as he let her into the house, thinking over the change in his behaviour since Sirius' death in the department of mysteries. He was quiet to begin with, but here lately, it was almost like he was a ghost. Sirius' death had affected her too, but she knew it was only part of the way it had affected Remus, because it was one of his last remaining true friends. Not many could accept that he was a werewolf. Determination welled in her, and she glanced down at her injured hand, then crossed the area to his chair, and knelt down, offering her injured palm out to him. "I fell." She said in way of explanation. "Kiss it make it better?" A mischevious sparkle shone in her royal blue eyes. Tonks, the only known metamorphmagus that was still living, changed her eye and hair colour sometimes as much as ten times a day, just changing them whenever it suited her. She'd started out the morning with bright red hair and mint green eyes, and after going through what seemed to be the whole rainbow, settled on royal blue eyes and hair so dark blue it appeared black with a blue sheen to it. Her form was a no-nonsense one, enough curves to tell she was female, but not enough that she would have to put up with any smart remarks from her fellow male aurors.  
  
He almost dropped the book in his hands when she settled on her knee's in front of him. He stared for a moment. Brown eyes bubbling with liquid gold. His look so intense for a moment. Then quietly he took her palm carefully in his hands. His hands, calloused and warm, enclosed around one of hers. He smiled slightly, he still had his wand in one hand, and leaned down like he was going to kiss her hand, and whispered the words to the spell he wanted. "Torenthas" he whispered. The thorns quickly removed themselves, and the skin healed. He'd had to learn the spell from when he was in werewolf form. Sometimes, he seemed to end up with them everywhere. He kissed her palm, the contact smooth, and then looked up, flashing her a quick, very slight smile. "All better.." Before letting her hand go his eyes, so expressive. Closed down, hiding the intensity of them. It was like seeing a storm coming, and then someone throwing a raincoat over one's eyes. He inhaled once more. Smelling her. He clenched his jaw. But said nothing else.  
  
Her breath caught at the look in his eyes, and she bit her lower lip, heat rushing through her. She knew Remus had deeply rooted emotions, but at certain times, certain looks and touches took her breath away unexpectedly. Tonks forced herself to breathe normally as he cupped her hand and winced when the splinters removed themselves. Mentally she chided herself on being such a wimp, expecially when she had chosen to be an Auror of all things. She watched in regret as he hid his eyes from her, and reach out, placing her hand on his knee and squeezing lightly. "I'm...here." She said quietly, solemnly. "I cant say that I'm the smartest person, or the wisest, but I do care about you, Remus. I know lots people don't think too highly of me because I'm supposedly immature, but well..." She rose to her feet, almost losing her balance, and bent down to place an impulsive kiss to his forehead. "If I can offer nothing else, I can offer the comfort of quiet companionship."  
  
He looked away. Torn between wanting to laugh softly, or kiss the woman. She made his breath catch. He'd known it for some time, this strange attraction he had for this woman, but he did nothing. Who would want a werewolf? The idea was perpostorus..he spoke quietly. His voice deep, strange in his own ears as she stood. "I don't think your immature Tonks, as for companionship..." he shrugged. He was alone. His pack gone. His chest tightened. His jaws locked in the effort to hold in all that emotion, he realized she hadn't moved away. And he spoke. "Tonks, I appreciate the companionship, at least.." he started to say, but he didn't finish the sentence looking away.He stood, forcing his tone to turn more cheerful. "Want to drink a glass of wine with me?" He didn't believe himself. He just asked the woman to drink with him. Part of him braced, as if expecting a refusal. 


	2. Chapter Two: I know you miss him

CHAPTER TWO: I miss you too Sirius. Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't make money. Just appreciate it. Please don't sue.  
She didnt step back when he stood up, so they were but a mere three inches or so apart. Tonks inhaled, letting his unique scent wash over her senses, and smiled up at him. "Just one glass. Any more and you'll be holding me up." She teased softly, having no problem with poking fun at herself. "Eggnog makes me loopy, if that tells you anything. She wasn't blind, she'd seen how he'd braced himself, the problems he was having holding back emotion. The teasing look died away, her eyes becoming serious as she reach up and placed one hand softly on his jaw. Gently she stroked the skin under her thumb, and sighed softly. Words were on the tip of her tongue, but she knew it wasn't the right time to say them, so instead she stepped away, and ran her fingers through the shoulder-length blue mane. "Lets go get that wine." She said instead, smiling softly.  
  
He smiled, when she made the comment about the wine. A real smile, a flash of teeth, and for a moment, his lit up with soft laughter. "eggnog? I'll have to remember that Tonks.." He hadn't realized how close that would put the two of them, and when she reached up and touched his jaw, he froze. Looking down at the woman not three inches from him. His eyes, unveiled where downright smokey. That was the only way to describe them. Staring down at her. When she rubbed it, he inhaled, not sharply, just slightly. It had been so long since someone had touched him, even in a handshake, that the power of this woman even wanting to touch him. Shook him. When she stepped away, he released the inhaled breath. He watched her play with the blue mane, not even knowing how his gaze followed her fingers. Especially a woman touching him. Especially a woman that he was attracted too. Damn. The traitorious thought again. He cracked a smile, a least tried to attempt one, when she mentioned the wine again. "let's " moving swiftly and stealthily around her, "Come, it's in the kitchen" he reached there before her of course, and took down wine glasses. The wine was cooled, of course, and he popped the wine stopper. He sniffed the bottle, checking the freshness. His eyes watching her as he did. Then he filled both glasses about 3/4's of a way full. Handing her one when she reached him. "Your wine Milady.." his tone smooth, but his eyes where back to normal...  
  
She made it to the kitchen without even bumping into anything besides the kitchen door, which was really rather amazing knowing her. Tonks watched him curiously as he sniffed the bottle, wondering if wine spoiled like milk did. /I thought it was supposed to taste better as it got older?/ She thought to herself, and when Remus handed her the glass, she sniffed it curiously before looking back up to him. "Milady?....Milady Tonks..." She shook her head. "Just doesn't sound right." She said with a grin, before sitting her glass down and stepping up on of the high kitchen stools to sit down. Tentatively, she took a sip of the wine, expecting an almost medicinal taste, it defintely wasnt often that she had a drink, and smiled at the fruity taste. "Why'd you sniff it?" She finally had to ask. "I thought wine got better as it got older...or does it get all curdly like milk does?"  
  
He smiled at her. Watching her seat herself on the stool, he slid up onto the counter near her, sitting on it. "Wine doesn't curdle, but if the bottle didn't seal right, then the wine can be bad, and make you ill. If it's bad, it has a vinigary smell." He smiled a bit. "Old habits die hard.." he said under his breath, pulling one denim clad knee up, a position few could manage, resting his bare foot against the counter, he looped his arms together, and sipped his own glass of wine. watching her as she tested it. It was a beautiful wine, fruity and cool, and soothing..sweet but not overpoweringly so, kind of like the woman before him, he mused. Finally he spoke. "So, anything new with the ministry?" his tone still low and deep.  
  
Tonks took a gulp of her wine and then cradled the glass in her hands as she thought. "The Weasley boy...Percy? was almost fired. Apparently once the Ministry says something, you're expected to agree full-heartedly with it, and Weatherby..." She snorted at the memory. "had the gall to argue with the head idiot in charge himself. It almost cost him his job, except for the fact that its getting hard for Fudge to find people that will actually work for him anymore." Another long drink of her wine, she drank it like she did pumpkin juice, not really bothering to sip at it. "the Unspeakables have been in and out of the ministry at the weirdest hours here lately, and Fudge is talking about lowering Auror acceptance standards. Other than that, not much that I can think of."  
  
He nodded. "Lowering auror acceptance standards will just mean more bodies." he murmered. He brightened, deciding to mention something to Tonks. "You know, I know someone that well, to be honest, is beginning to excell at charms, especially the offensive and defensive ones." he spoke. "I told her she should go in for auror training when she graduates. " He smiled a bit. "Determined little thing, reminds me of someone else that I know." his eyes catching hers. He smiled, that flash of teeth smile. Then spoke seriously again. "Percy was almost fired huh. Well I expected that to be coming, that Weasley always bothered me." he spoke quite seriously. "However, his younger sibling, Ginny, shows a lot of potiental, I think. " As he spoke, he shifted a bit, so that his other foot was dangling off the counter, not realizing how sleek the position made him look. He sighed, looking down at the glass of wine, before sipping it again. Watching the woman all but inhale the alcohol in front of him. "That's not pumpkin juice, you know Tonks.." his voice amused.  
  
Tonks giggled, thinking of the hours she'd spent amusing Ginny by changing the shape of her nose over dinner. "It would be nice to see another female in the field. Sometimes it gets a bit much, expecially when the men think that just because you're there, your available." She shuddered lightly, glad beyond belief that at least she didnt have to put up with it from Kingsley. "Would be nice to have a female to talk with when the men get too much." She raised her glass to take another long drink, and froze at his words, arching a brow. "Wha?" She said, and blinked, as she took in the smooth lines of his body and pose.  
He smiled, then frowned, at the thought of someone trying to take advantage of the woman in front of him. "I can see how that would get annoying.." he said softly. He chuckled when she spoke. "Miss Weasley is most determined, and I can see her doing well if she follows through on it.." he flashed her another smile. "Sips Tonks, sips..not swallows..or I'll be putting you to bed tonight.." he realized what he said, ater he said it, and for a moment his eyes gleamed, something in their depths. Before they shuttered down again.  
  
A slow smile curled Nymphadora's lips, and she carefully took a sip of her wine before looking at him and saying, "Mmm, too soon for that, but maybe one day?" Her lashes fell to cover her eyes, she wasn't exactly scar free emotionally herself, and she took another drink of her wine to cover her nervousness in the meantime.  
  
He stared at her for a moment. His eyes turning almost bubbles of gold, looking at her. He thought. Oh god. I did not just hear that. I did not. She could not want a man like me. Something flickered in his eyes, something like pain. He stood from the counter. Dumping the rest of the wine in the sink. "Sure tonks...remember to bring a slab of raw meat with you.." then walking speedily away from the kitchen..he thought to himself. She's joking, at my expense. Either that or made the words out of teasing. Either way they hurt. He moved to the living room. Staring out the window. He'd give anything right now to hear Sirius's words. To hear him giving him hell, to even see the dark little sly smile the man wore. He closed his eyes. Resting his head against the cool glass. What did she think he was, a little pet? He exhaled, trying to calm his thoughts.  
  
Her stomach clenched, and the urge to cry welled up in her as soon as she heard his remarks. She hadn't meant to hurt him. She had no problem with him being a werewolf, wasn't that obvious by now? It wasn't like he could help it! No more than she could help that she was a metamorphmagus. Tears misted her eyes, and she swallowed hard, then raised the glass of wine to her lips, determinedly draining it before reaching for the bottle of wine. She brought it to her lips and took a swig, and then when she realised what she was doing, became appalled. Slowly, carefully, she sat the bottle back down on the counter, and slid from the stool, her head swimming slightly as she walked into the living room. She paused just inside the room, her eyes on his back, and again she fought back the urge to sob, to say quietly. "You know, i've had three relation...relationships in the past, and in every single one of them, the only reason the men wanted me was because I had the ability to look like the girl of their dreams. No one has ever wanted me for me. I KNOW YOU MISS SIRIUS!" She suddenly yelled, the alcohol having a quicker affect on her because of her body's make up. "I MISS HIM TOO!! I know you're a werewolf and I DONT BLOODY CARE! How hard is that to understand? I like you for who you are when you're not being a bloody prat, Remus!" Tears traced down her flushed cheeks. "I'm sorry..." She said as the anger left her. "I thought I was reading the signals right. That you were as interested in me as I was in you..." She shook her head, and turned quickly, only to lose her balance and fall flat on her rear. "Can't even make a dramatic exit.." She mumbled to herself, swiping at the tears that continued to fall. 


	3. Chapter Three: Kiss makes it better

CHAPTER THREE: A Kiss makes it Better Disclaimer: Yada Yada Yada  
A slow smile curled Nymphadora's lips, and she carefully took a sip of her wine before looking at him and saying, "Mmm, too soon for that, but maybe one day?" Her lashes fell to cover her eyes, she wasn't exactly scar free emotionally herself, and she took another drink of her wine to cover her nervousness in the meantime.  
  
He stared at her for a moment. His eyes turning almost bubbles of gold, looking at her. He thought. Oh god. I did not just hear that. I did not. She could not want a man like me. Something flickered in his eyes, something like pain. He stood from the counter. Dumping the rest of the wine in the sink. "Sure tonks...remember to bring a slab of raw meat with you.." then walking speedily away from the kitchen..he thought to himself. She's joking, at my expense. Either that or made the words out of teasing. Either way they hurt. He moved to the living room. Staring out the window. He'd give anything right now to hear Sirius's words. To hear him giving him hell, to even see the dark little sly smile the man wore. He closed his eyes. Resting his head against the cool glass. What did she think he was, a little pet? He exhaled, trying to calm his thoughts.  
  
Her stomach clenched, and the urge to cry welled up in her as soon as she heard his remarks. She hadn't meant to hurt him. She had no problem with him being a werewolf, wasn't that obvious by now? It wasn't like he could help it! No more than she could help that she was a metamorphmagus. Tears misted her eyes, and she swallowed hard, then raised the glass of wine to her lips, determinedly draining it before reaching for the bottle of wine. She brought it to her lips and took a swig, and then when she realised what she was doing, became appalled. Slowly, carefully, she sat the bottle back down on the counter, and slid from the stool, her head swimming slightly as she walked into the living room. She paused just inside the room, her eyes on his back, and again she fought back the urge to sob, to say quietly. "You know, i've had three relation...relationships in the past, and in every single one of them, the only reason the men wanted me was because I had the ability to look like the girl of their dreams. No one has ever wanted me for me. I KNOW YOU MISS SIRIUS!" She suddenly yelled, the alcohol having a quicker affect on her because of her body's make up. "I MISS HIM TOO!! I know you're a werewolf and I DONT BLOODY CARE! How hard is that to understand? I like you for who you are when you're not being a bloody prat, Remus!" Tears traced down her flushed cheeks. "I'm sorry..." She said as the anger left her. "I thought I was reading the signals right. That you were as interested in me as I was in you..." She shook her head, and turned quickly, only to lose her balance and fall flat on her rear. "Can't even make a dramatic exit.." She mumbled to herself, swiping at the tears that continued to fall.  
  
He turned. When she started to talk, his eyes, like pools of golden pain. It was obvious in that moment. The man wasn't letting himself greive. Full of the belief that if he showed any weakness, it would be used against him. It mirrored in his eyes. He hadn't ever cried. Not even for his best friend. Never. He stared at her, and as she tried to walk away, he moved towards her. Crouching next to her. Running his finger over her cheek wiping away the tears. "Tonks.." the words strangely helpless. He didn't want to feel this way. He didn't want to feel like a bottled up time bomb. Her words about not caring about his lycanthropy, shook him. He'd never. Ever, besides his pack, had anyone say those words. Never. He stared at her as he wiped the tears from her cheek. "Tonks..you weren't messing up signals.." he tried to explain..tried to find the words.. But none came. Slowly he reached down, placing a finger across her lips. "Tonks..you don't want me, I'm not worth anything to anyone..nothing that anyone should want.." the pain that ran across his features, before he reached down, lifting her to her feet. Then turned. Like he was going to walk away.  
  
She watched him with wide, childlike eyes as he wiped away her tears, leaning into his touch almost against her will. Hope filled her,and then crashed as he put himself down. She made sure she had her footing, and then reach out, grabbing one of his arms. "You're Remus Lupin. Mauradeer. Member of the Order of the Phoenix, One of the best teachers of Defense against the Dark Arts that Harry and the others have had since they began school." She stepped so that she placed herself in front of him, and stared at him. "You're brave. kind. caring. A good friend. You're passionate. Chivalrous." She stepped in close, and reach up on tiptoe to brush a kiss on his jaw, before swiping at the tears that refused to dry up completely. "Those are an awful lot of good things, Remus. To me they more than outweigh what you consider bad. You can't help being what you are, any more than I can help being what I am. I don't blame you for that, and I dont think any less of you for it. You're more of a man than most so called men i know."  
  
He stared at her, heard her words, and then he sighed. "You forgot the bad things Tonks, and their's pleanty of them. " He looked at her. Not wanting to scare her, but knowing that he couldn't let her go on believing he was really like that. "I'm a coward Tonks, I'm not brave..I'm a monster, something that you've never known me as." the words choked his through. "I'm a failure, I've sat back and watched every single person I've cared about be harmed, or killed.." his gaze swam for a moment. "Good friend? Was I a good friend to Sirius? To James? To any of them? They died anyhow. " his vision blurred. As he looked down at her. But he fought it. "Passionate? A man so damn much like a hermit that he hasn't touched a woman in over five years. chivalrous? making someone as nice and good as you cry?" the words whispered. "I'm a selfish man, who can't deal with things, a murderer, a theif, and a liar.." he looked down at her hand on his arm. "I lied to them. Told them that I would always be there. I lied dammit! " the words came out of his mouth. The pain swirling in his eyes. "I wasn't there when they needed me most. I couldn't save james, couldn't save lily, couldn't even save sirius!" he shook his head. "Didn't even have any faith in him! Believed he gave them away to Voldemort.." he stared at her."That's the kind of person I am Tonks. " He stared at her. "Plus on top of that I'm a werewolf that the Ministry would prefer to have dead."  
  
Tonks just stared at him for a long moment, wondering how he could be so blind, and how she could help him see the truth. First she dealt with the smaller things. "You didn't make me cry, first off. I made me cry, because I'd hurt you. You fought as bravely as any of us at the Department of Mysteries. You kept control enough to hold Harry back so that we wouldn't lose him. You care, Remus. Otherwise you wouldn't be concerned about the fact that I was crying." She reach for his hands, brought them up, kissing his fingertips. "You've the courage to keep on living, to fight against Voldemort." She took a deep breath, and pulled out the big guns. "Harry blames himself for Sirius death. He believes its his fault because he "Let" Voldemort trick him. Because he didnt remember the mirror. He was fooled by Kreacher, and acted purely out of love, yet Hermione has told me how much guilt he carries because of that night. Do you think that Harry was at fault?" She arched a brow, keeping hold of his hands.  
  
He stared at her. "No..Harry's not at fault, how could he be? He was trying to save Sirius"..the word, his name, brought back a wealth of pain. Pain that he didn't think he could deal with. He bit back tears, bit them back so hard that he started to draw blood on his bottom lip. He stared at her. His eyes mirror like.His hands started to shake, and he broke his gaze away from her. Closing his eyes. Trying to regain control of that iron will of his, the part of him that refused to buckle. "Sirius was my best friend Tonks..my brother, the only person I had left that understood me. That could listen to me rant and shut me up in five words or less.." a tear finally rolled down his cheek. "I failed him. I could have done so many things to stop it. So many things. I didn't.." he clenched his teeth together refusing to cry in front of this woman. "He..was.." he shook his head. "He was Sirius, Padfoot. The person I'd known since I was 10 years old. The one that got me into trouble and made me laugh. That got me my first damn kiss.." the tears started to roll down his cheeks. He couldn't stop them. He wanted too but didn't know how now that they started. He choked out the words. "I miss him..God Tonks..I miss him.." his gaze returned to her face, so damn miserable that he thought that Crucio would feel better than what he did right now. The fight was gone out of him, all the anger. Everything. His arms limp at his sides.  
  
It hurt her to see that he was hurting like this, but she knew it was needed. "We all make mistakes, Remus. Sirius was a great coz, but he wasn't perfect. No one is." She said gently. "You have no more reason to blame yourself than Harry does about Sirius, or about Lily and James. Hermione told me he blames himself in a way, for their deaths too. I dont know the whole deal about what went on back then, but I do know that whatever wrong you think you commited against Sirius, he didn't hold it against you." She let the tears stream down her cheeks, as she let loose of his hands and wrapped her arms around his middle, burying her face against his chest. Then she hugged him tightly, and moved her head enough to place a small kiss right over his heart. "I wish I could kiss it and make it better" She whispered. 


	4. Chapter Four: Not Perfect, Just me

Chapter Four: Not Perfect, Just me Disclaimer: you should know it by now  
  
Those words seemed to strike him, strike him in the middle of the chest. He let her wrap her arms around him. Didn't even realize he was holding her back. "What am I supposed to do now Tonks? Without him?" the words a whisper. "I don't know what to do with myself, I feel like I'm constantly walking around lost.." the tears rolled down his cheeks. Tears that he didn't know he had to cry. Tell she proved it to him. He lead her towards the couch, not even letting go of her, careful to not make her trip. Then pulled her down next to him. Just needing someone near him. Someone willing to hold onto him while he tried to make sense of it. "I feel guilty because I could have stopped it before it happened.." he whispered, this was part of something he'd never told anyone. "I could have believed him, he was my brother. I should have realized that he couldn't do that to James and Lily, I should have known something was up. I should have made sure James and Lily where safe. Their is so much that I should have done." he sighed. "Even when he escaped, I didn't believe him at first. Didn't believe that he hadn't done it. Harry had to prove it to me. I should have believed him. " the words soft. "Instead I turned my head, believed what they said.." more tears rolled. "I know it's stupid to feel guilty for it, but I can't help it. I can't help feeling like I failed him. When the attack came at the Ministry, I should have been more alert. I was tired. Maybe I could have changed things.." finally he took a shuddering breath. "Wait.." his voice slight. He swallowed hard, "your right"he shook his head. "How stupid can I get, blaming myself for stuff like this..simply cause I can't deal with the fact that they are gone..that I'll never see Sirius laugh, or see him hug Harry again." the words where quiet, introspective. His tears starting to dry on his cheeks.  
  
Tonks snuggled up against him, holding him listening to his words, sorrow continuing to fill her, but then pride when he seemed to snap out of the self-blame bit. "You know..." She said after a moment. "Harry needs a male role-model, and someone to talk to about his parents....He needs you Remus...." She looked at him. "He needs to see someone that lives their life, so that he'll keep hope...and.." The wine was starting to make her a little drowsy, and the tears hadn't helped any either. She turned her head and kissed his chest again. "You need Harry. Remus and Harry. Not Remus trying to be anyone else, just Remus being Remus..." A yawn overtook her, and she wriggled around until she was more comfortable, without once ever moving from being snuggled up with him. "Everyone needs friends."  
  
He watched her yawn, caressed her cheek. Quietly he started to smooth her hair away. "Tonks.." he said quietly. "I don't think I'd like you any other way.." he looked down at the drowsey woman. "Those other men, they where fools. Your perfect how you are.." He slid so that he was more comfortable as well, but so that he could still rest his head by her hair. Blinking blurry exhausted eyes. He leaned foreward, long enough to press a kiss to her forehead, before leaning back on his arm, rubing her hair slightly. She'd done what no one else had. Besides Harry. She'd gotten through his armor, wiggled her way underneath. Part of him wanted to be resentful, but then he saw how she curled up against him.  
  
"M'not perfect...m'Tonks." She murmured as her eyelids drifted shut, and with one last small yawn and content-sounding sigh, she fell asleep.  
  
He watched her as she drifted off, snuggling his arm around her waist. "Your tonks, and I think your perfect the way you are.." he whispered to the sleeping woman in his arms. Then he pressed his face against that strangely beautiful hair of his, feeling his own exhaustion creeping up, and willingly accepted it, drifting off to sleep. 


	5. Chapter Five: Deatheater

Chapter Five: "DEATHEATER!" Disclaimer: Same :)  
  
Remus woke up with a start. But didn't move. His arms where around someone, but he took a breath, and realized in an instant who it was. Tonks. They'd slept on the couch together. She was going to kill him. He just knew it. A slight smile curled around his lips, remembering their conversation last night. He watched her sleep. Some-part of him enjoying it. A bit of mischeif caught his eye, and he leaned down as if to whisper in her ear. "Tonks.." he whispered. "Tonks wake up..someone just apparated into the room..." then he grinned, this was bad of him he knew, but he couldn't resist, some of the mischief of his youth showing through. He whispered the word "Silencio" into the room, binding the noise she was bound to make when he did this. Then he grinned, a kind of mischeif hanging in his eyes. "Deatheater!" he yelled, directly into her ear.  
  
dream/// She was walking up the aisle, her hands clutched nervously around a bouquet, her eyes on him...He looked beautiful to her, dressed in amber-coloured wizarding formal robes, his eyes on hers. As she got closer, she took in the full impact of the love shining in his eyes, and she knew that this was the best day of her life. She was finally up beside him, and Dumbledore, who'd agreed to perform the marriage, reach out, taking their two hands and joining them. The ceremony was beautiful, the words spoken reverently, and she thought she would cry from happiness, as Remus spoke his agreement to the vows. Then it was her turn, and her eyes never moved from his, as she began, I will always love -" (This part was murmured sleepily) Suddenly out of the blue, Remus yelled "DEATHEATER!" end dream Tonks jolted awake, exclaiming "Deatheaters?!" as she leapt to her feet, flicking her wrist and grasping her wand as it slid smoothly into her hand. She looked around the room frantically, wand in a dueling position, but found no sign of them...that was when she realised she'd been tricked, and she turned to look at Remus, training the wand to point right between his eyes. "Think that was funny, do ya?"  
  
He couldn't help it. One look at her standing there, so beautiful in the knowledge that she'd been tricked. He grinned. A cheeky grin even. Few had seen him grin in the longest time. It lit up his eyes, transforming him from merely average looking to handsome. His white teeth gleamed for a moment, then he let out a low chuckle, like he couldn't help it. He reached up to touch her hands. "Sorry dear, I just couldn't resist..." still smiling at her.  
  
At his grin, her indignation began to seep away, and she knew it then, it was hopeless. That man could wrap her around his little finger, and she'd just smile and love it. It was nice to see him grin, to hear him chuckle in honest amusement, it changed his features, and she realised then just how truely handsome he could be. Looks weren't that big of a deal with Tonks, expecially since she was all to familiar with the downside of good looks, so her attraction to Remus had been built on other things, but this...sent a jolt through her, and she groaned as she slid the wand back into its holster, and linked her fingers through his. "You're absolutely horrid. I should have hexed you six ways from sunday." She said lightly.  
  
He chuckled slightly. "Aww but what would have been the fun in that?" He gave her his best puppy look. Which, all things considering. ..was quite good. He tweaked her fingers. "Actually, I figured if I didn't wake you up that way, I'd end up kissing you..and that.." he started to stutter, realizing what he said. "Wouldn't be a good idea.." he blinked. "Well it would be a good idea, but um..well...no, well..yes..." he tried to figure out how to say it. Then sighed. "It's just I have to go get Harry later, supposed to bring him back here..and the young Miss Ginny should be arriving this evening, I' promised her I'd help her with some charms before she went back to school.." He smiled winningly. "You busy today?" Arching a brown eyebrow at the blue haired minx in front of him.  
  
She chuckled, but fell silent at the mention of him kissing her to wake her up, and as he fumbled over his words, she began to smirk, eyebrows raised as it seemed to go on and on. "So basically, no kissing just yet?" She said teasingly, and shook her head. "S'my day off. I get to be lazy, until Dumbledore or someone needs me to do something. Hopefully, I get to be lazy." A lock of her dark blue hair fell in her face just then, and her eyes crossed as she peered at it. "Not in a blue type mood.." She muttered to herself, and closed her eyes, concentrating. Her hair shortened into the length she liked it best, standing up in the suggestion of spikes, and turned a bright pumpkin-orange colour. When she opened her eyes, which now had an exotic tilt to them, they were revealed to now be a vivid silver colour, and her skin darkened a few shades until she looked as though she had some african american in her. Peering down at her fingernails, she lengthened them a bit, and then nodded in satisfaction. "Thats better.." She said, and grinned at Remus. "So, when you heading to pick him up? Do you want company? I can do it if it just requires walking and ya know..not actually thinking."  
  
He chuckled. "I would love to have someone accompany me to pick Harry up". He stood, rubbing his hair as he did. Before yawning. "Hmm. You look lovely." He smiled at her once. "But before we scamper off...I'm for a shower and clean clothes, I bet we can dig something to eat up too.." his stomache did something suspiciously like a growl. "Yep. Shower and food..are a must" he smiled at her, then to his own suprise, found himself reaching over to tweak her nose. "Be back in a few minutes" before taking the stairs three steps at a time. A few minutes later, the sound of running water could be heard.  
  
His yawn was infectious, but so was his good mood. She found herself smiling at the way he was acting, right up to the point where he tweaked her nose. As he went up the steps, and she headed into the kitchen to TRY and prepare something to eat, she found herself muttering under her breath. "He tweaked my nose...he TWEAKED my nose...Suddenly I feel very two year oldish..I can't believe he tweaked my nose.." This was interspersed with periodic giggles as she opened cabinets and bangs as she sorted through the pans and pots. All in all, it went well...for her. She only dropped three eggs, in trying to make omelets, set her sleeve on fire, burned the first batch because the flame was up too high, tried to banish the smoke in the room which only seemed to adhere it to the walls, and finally managed to produce a decent one when she heard the water upstairs go off. 


	6. Chapter Six: Lead the Way Boss

CHAPTER SIX: Lead the way Boss DISCLAIMER: NOT NOT NOT NOT  
  
Remus headed for his dresser, he needed muggle clothing, he knew. He opened his dresser drawer and picked out a pair of blue-jeans, a pair of dress shoes, and a white silk shirt. He had taken to favoring silk, he'd noticed. It was comfortable, not like cotton, which seemed to make him want to scratch. It was too much like fur, he thought. He tucked the shirt in. Then slid on the matching brown belt for the shoes, he went back into the bathroom, ran a brush through his hair. He'd shaved again while he was showering, so his face was smooth. He tilted his head in the mirror, "Bah. Look..the woman looks at me like that and I go get vain.." he shook his head. Muttering. Then turned, heading downstairs, argueing with himself about why he was eager to spend his day with her.She slid the spatula under the omelet, and tried to get it on the plate she'd put beside the stove for that purpose, but about halfway there, it slipped off, and she grabbed for it, then dropped it, yelping at her burnt hand. That was enough for her. She knew when she was had. Muttering, she turned off the flame, and actually sucessfully banished the omelet after imagining it was Fudge's head, and folded her arms, glaring around the room. Her eyes lit upon the fresh basket of fruit, and she plucked a banana from the bowl, and seated herself at the kitchen table. "Hah! Food!"  
  
He headed into the kitchen, arching a brow at the "Hah-food part" then got out three eggs, a slice of cheese, some already grated potato's, and what looked to be cinnamon rolls. He arched a brow. "Want an omelet?" he asked. Not even realizing that she'd hurt herself trying to make her own. He dug around in a cabinet, and sat about making coffee as well. While waiting on her answer, he started cooking, watching her out of the corner of his eye.  
  
At the mention of omelets, she picked up the peel of the banana, turned in her chair, and threw it at him. One thing she did have, was good aim. Exceptionally good. It was a good thing, one had to be able to aim decently when they're on the ground after tripping over their own feet when being chased by or chasing an enemy. "Don't even mention omelets! I just burned myself trying to cook breakfast for us, thankyouverymuch!" She grumbled, eyed her banana like it was the most evil thing in the world, practically snapping at it and tearing a bite off.  
  
He laughed when the banana hit him. "Well, since you asked so nicely, I'll fix you something to eat that will be more appealing than a bannana." He grinned at her, and got rid of the bannana peel. In a few moments he'd started on the omlet, he obviously knew how to cook, a fact that suprised a lot of people. He started the cinnamon rolls, and the coffee, he tilted his head, his eyes mischeivious. "Want me to kiss your burn better?" he teased. Remembering the thorns last night.  
  
She took another bite of her banana and swallowed again before answering him. Her answer was simple, to stand up, walk over to him while he was working, raise up on her tiptoes, and nibble at his ear, before murmuring. "I have better places in mind for you to kiss..." Then she scampered out of the kitchen, laughing, and only nearly tripped once on her way up to the shower.  
  
He inhaled. Damn the woman. A simple kiss and she blew his concentration to hell and back. He shook his head. "Good god.." he groaned. Leaning against the counter. The woman was a flirt. But damn..he couldn't help thinking that he enjoyed someone who liked him enough to be themselves around him. He felt his lips twitch into a smile. Then turned his attention back to his cooking. He poured himself a cup of coffee, and leaned back, thinking and sipping from his cup. He watched the food as it cooked. Did what was nessicary. When you live alone, you learn to cook. He'd found, or starve. A wry grin crossed his mouth. He'd have to teach Tonks how to cook. That would be fun..He took the cinnamon rolls out, placing them on the counter, then put two on the edge of plate for tonks, and two for himself. Then dished out the omelets, covered in tiny chunks of cheese, and smelling heavenly. He also added the nicely done hashbrowns, and pondered. Then grinned. He took the rest of her bannana, and chopped it up. Putting it on her plate, along with a cup of coffee. And then settled into the chair, letting his mind drift while he waited on her to finish with her shower.  
  
Tonks showered quickly, something you learned to do when in auror training, or else they might just turn the water ice cold on you. It wasn't three minutes before she was out of the shower, a towel wrapped around her, and slipping into the spare bedroom she claimed as her own when she was around to get the spare change of clothes in the dresser. She started to forgo a bra, and then grinned when she realised the teasing power she held over Remus. He'd never seen her on a true lazy day...Giggling, she slipped the bra and panties on, both bright red satin, and then slipped on the black leather pants and black button up shirt, leaving the top three buttons undone and tying the ends above her belly button, then she closed her eyes, and allowed her natural build to come through, until she filled out the bra and pants, molding her body just a bit to ensure they fit her in all the right ways and after slipping on her trainers, she headed back down the stairs. At the sight of her bright punpkin coloured hair, in a shiny surface, she had to pause and grin, before heading back in the kitchen, already feeling her mouth watering at the smell coming from there. "Foods done?" She asked, her eyes falling on the plates. "FOODS DONE!" She cheered.  
  
He chuckled, and smiled at her, she was beautiful like this, but then, he'd never seen the woman look unattractive. He chuckled. "Yes, food's done. Remind me, tonks, to sometime teach you how to cook" he grinned at her, then sobered. "Hmm.." as he dove into his own plate. Although his table manners where good, he was definitley hungry. He winked at her as he nibbled on his cinnamon roll first.  
  
She muttered. "If Molly Weasely thinks i'm hopeless, I dont see you having much luck, buddy." and then went after her own plate of food. Like him, her table manners were good, but when Tonks was hungry, she ignored everything around her and concentrated on inhaling the food. The omelet made her pause and give an incoherent expression of pleasure before she hurriedly wolfed it down, and finally, about three quarters of the way through the meal, she decided to take a breather, and leaned back against her chair, smiling. "S'good."  
  
He chuckled, having bolted his food almost as quick as her, he was nibbling on the last bit of hashbrown. "Thank you" he couldn't help but smile, it almost disturbed him, how nice it was to have someone he could just well, be himself around. He stood, putting his plate in the sink, and leaned on the wall behind her to watch her. He grinned. Then leaned down, kissed her ear smoothy. "Tit for tat" he chuckled as he sipped his coffee.  
  
She took a few more bites, and felt pleasantly full, and was just about to get out of her chair, when he kissed her ear. Shivers wracked her, and she swallowed hard, breathing a bit harder than normal. "You're so had..." She muttered, meeting his eyes in a playful challenge, before rising up and taking her own dish to the sink, banishing the left over food and running water over the plates to clean them off enough nothing would stick to them while they were both out. "Soo..." She drawled as she "Stalked" over to him. "We should get going..hmm?"  
  
He grinned at her when she stalked him. When had he ever smiled or laughed so much, he wondered. It'd been a long time, he thought, hell, he knew. He watched her approach, his eyes gleaming. "Yeah, we should, Harry's probably eagerly awaiting us, you know.." but he didn't move. Then he grinned. Stalking foreward on his own. He leaned down, and kissed the tip of her nose playfully, before heading towards the door. "Come on lazabout..time to go"  
  
Her breath caught as he moved towards her, and her lips parted slightly in anticipation of being kissed. When he merely kissed her nose, she groaned and whirled, coming up behind him and thwapping him on the back of the head. "You're just...mean!" She said, and grabbed him by the back of the britches. "Lead the way boss 


End file.
